El fin de todo
I must be honest with you. Much of what I write in these pages may not be one hundred percent accurate. I have forgotten much of what has happened, and hard as I try to remember it all, there are many events and names that have simply vanished from my fast-fading memory. But do read on, because before too long you will need to work out the missing bits. I suspect that you will need to team up with others to fill in the blanks which I leave in the story. The now-empty spaces in this convoluted tale are likely to contain knowledge which will be crucial to your survival. So that your community has a better chance to travel deeper into the future, the full story will need to be heard by as many of the Seed Children as possible.
It is not just my foggy mind which hampers my story telling. At times, I also struggle with remembering the words themselves. I struggle with getting my thoughts straight. Getting words down on paper has become an almost impossible task for my mind. My difficulties in writing this story will make most of what I’ve written feel jarring to you in not a few places. Alas, my handwriting might be hard to make out too. Not just because my arthritis is now so far along, but because it is cold in my tree home. The sun has not fully risen in months. Ashes fill the sky above, and the air is full of vapors and mists from the boiling rivers and lakes. My back aches. My vision fades. My soul darkens.
Yesterday I saw an owl, and he asked me “Old crow, why are you crying so?” I implored him to let me be. He didn’t fly off right away, but instead, he stared at me for a long while. I can still hear his laughter fading as he eventually flew off and gained distance from me. No more words were ever shared between us.
I am sure that I am not telling you anything you don’t already know, but brother owl typically only visits when death is near, so his visit prompted me to sit down and write down this short apology and introduction to my book. Maybe I waited too long to finish this tale. Perhaps. But, late or not, it is done now. All I had left to do was to insert this last page into the book. The first page is now going in last. The beginning finds its way to the end.
Though I maybe deluded in thinking so, I do believe that one of the Children will eventually find the rusty box I’m placing this book of mine into. I hope it is not too well hidden. If you have indeed found the book, then please note that any bones you may have also discovered next to the box are of course mine. If any bones were left that is… meaning not too much time has passed since I travelled into the spirit places to join my ancestors. Say a prayer to the One for my sake. It is the only thing I ask of you.
My insides have finally started to give up to the poisons in my body. My mind is unmoored. In my sleep I dream of black spiders crawling in my skull. Multiplying. Making large and impenetrable webs. Where those webs find purchase a new set of memories dies from me. In the places of my mind not yet fully covered in black webs, I can still catch glimpses of my woman, my children, my village, but thankfully those are few and far between now. Those memories break my heart, so I do not linger on them.
One last honest thing to share. I am glad of everything that has happened. I am not sorry for any of it. I am happy that the Children are almost all gone. We outstayed our welcome.
For some years I was wracked with regret for the part I played in bringing about the end of it all. But right here, right now, I am at peace with knowing that I participated in the death of so many.
It is clear to me that it was my destiny to bring deliverance from imbalance to millions. It was my fate to help fulfill the One’s mandate. And in the end, his Way, The Way, is all that really matters.
Balance has been restored.
What comes next is up to the Seed Children. It is up to you and yours.
This is the Way.
